BLACK MEN,WHERE ARE YOU?

I don't know what is happening,but black men-mainly amaXhosa (cause they are the ones I'm familiar with) seem to be confused by the word "father" and what it entails.

I've met about a handful of ladies who do not have proper relationships with their fathers.The main reason is,the fathers aren't playing any role in their lives.Some live with both parents but the mother is the one that takes care of all the children's needs even though the father is working.

A father of a friend has never really supported her financially or otherwise.He has never expressed any happiness in the child's successes-like passing matric and graduating.

When have women become the heads?The sad things is, these men often work for better salaries than their wives yet they refuse to give a cent to the household.And I cannot help but wonder,why?Who forced these men to get married?No,Why did they marry ,if they are not willing to take responsibility?They live as if they are bachelors yet they are husbands and fathers as well.

All I can blame is sin-selfishness!

Also,most of these men are repeating a cycle from their upbringing.Some,have never even known their fathers and they know the pain of having an absent father in one's life but they still do it anyway!It's sad because the children end up wondering,"Why did God give me this father?'.Even in my life,there has been instances when I thought,why did my mom marry him?Why did it have to be him?

These men will let their children go hungry while they sit and do nothing.Or while they have the means to provide for them.This I can never comprehend.And the sad thing is ,this is a lifestyle their sons will follow(not all).

Even sadder is a young man who has had no male figure in his life who goes around sleeping with girls and then escaping from the responsibility.This is one sad situation,and then we have some of these children growing up to be a problem in the society.BUT I MUST ADD,SUCH BEHAVIOUR IS NOT EXCUSABLE BECAUSE YOU HAVE A CHOICE TO CHOOSE DIFFERENTLY!

There has been times in my life when I wished I had the choice to decide who my father was.And there have been many hurtful experiences that have left me wondering,how does one do this to his own child-flesh and blood?

And sadly some girls who grow up in such situations never heal.They go around looking for ways to erase the hurt.But I've found out that a boyfriend is NOT a cure and he will NEVER be, no matter how caring and loving he is:neither will alcohol,drugs or riches.God is the only one who can-because He created you and you are  his own.

To those who have fathers like these:hate will never solve anything.Two wrongs don't make a right.Furthermore.vengeance will not change matters.Instead,ask God to heal and mend your heart because:"The Lord is closer to the broken-hearted"(Psalm34:18) and He can heal every wound because He made and you will never be complicated for Him.Instead,get up from the dust and make something out of your life.

Also,Proverbs counsels us that:

Proverbs 25:21-22New International Version (NIV)

21 If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
    if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
22 In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,

    and the Lord will reward you. 

Ladies,mothers,aunts,grandmothers,cousins,sisters:let us pray for our fathers,brothers,uncles and every MALE; so that God helps them to be better men.

To the men who are guilty:ask forgiveness from God and to those you have hurt.

And ladies,LET us pray that God gives us husbands that will not repeat the same mistakes our fathers have made!