Sometimes it's not one sided at ALL

On my previous post I shared a bit on parenting and how sometimes  parents do err. But it will be unbecoming of me to not make mention of those brothers who are dedicated to their children and do all in their power to ensure the best for them.

So today I celebrate M,who has dedicated himself to ensuring all her daughter's needs are met. Who has worked tirelessly for the good of his child. M, I am so proud of you. Preparing for your child's arrival has made you more responsible and accountable. It's made you think of the relationship you want to have with her. What I appreciate is that you realize that as much as parenting includes making sure that the child is well fed and clothed, you also realize it's about spending quality time with your child and never making it about materialistic things. I love the fact that you want to be present. I love how you keep on saying you want to be your daughter's best friend. I think your daughter is blessed to have a father like you! I am also so happy that you are mindful of the values you want to teach her.

I hope we'll look back at this post, a year later, and marvel at how beautiful fatherhood is!

Also see this article:http://brotherjesseblog.com/black-men-black-fathers-accepting-challenges-embracing-responsibility/

Image Source:

Brother Jesse Blog

Are we raising our male children the same way we are doing with our girls? Part 1

This was the discussion on S.A fm this morning-it was very insightful and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I only had one argument concerning this question and it was-still is,NO!A friend made me realise this,as I was too blind to even notice-but the difference in rearing both girls and boys has been there-at least in the black community.

Argument 1: The parents tend to be strict when raising their girls.They set curfews for girls, they set clear chores, and often girls are taught to be responsible:taking care of themselves.Nothing wrong with this way of rearing girls as we need responsible women who will play a pivotal role in society.On the negative:In most cases,the grip is loosened when raising a male child-he’s not taught to be governed by rules, no curfews are set out for him,and he can do as much as he pleases,with discipline here and there.

Parents might feel like the world is against the female child:if she falls pregnant,her life changes and is put on a standstill.Sounds fair I know.But the reality is:girls do not get themselves pregnant.It is the male child that impregnates-so he ought to be taught to be responsible too.When both are clear of the responsibility,then we are able to solve the issue.The male child would realise his role in improving society,thus making good choices.

Society,to a large degree,conditions the female child to conduct herself such that she’d be a good wife with dignity.Wrong way of rearing the female child–of course my approach is from a Christian perspective,which supports that both males and females should be brought up in the fear of the Lord,for it is Him who seeks us to be pure and holy ,with the aid He offers.
The male is not conditioned to take responsibility;perhaps the desire was to teach the male child to be responsible through certain rites of passages,but the period is too short.Males should be prepared from childhood too,and the outcome will be balanced. Instead, we currently have a majority of males who live recklessly–some carelessly having children,and when they finally decide to change their ways (which is plausible),there’s an imbalance:one who is prepared for a healthy
relationship(marriage) and one who is not.Perhaps,that sometimes lead to divorce–I’m not sure.

Argument 2:Parents want to outsource their children to institutions such as the school and the church,while they fold their hands and do nothing.

Said another caller and I thoroughly concur.Children are raising themselves these days.Parenting is limited to providing the needs of a child.My brother and I used to be amazed at how children from our street would be playing from morning till sunset during school vacation.Weren’t their parents bothered by the children’s absence?When do parents pass down values,when children are away majority of the time?

[Parents] should calmly consider what provision can be made for their children. They

have no right to bring children into the world to be a burden to others.-CCh,p.144

 

What then is the duty of the mother? (From counsels–been studying this for a while,and I had vowed to not write about things I have no experience of;thankfully,this is counsel from God,not my opinions):

The sphere of the mother may be humble; but her influence, united with the fathe

r’s,is as abiding as eternity.Next to God,the mother’s power for good is the strongest known on earth.-Counsels to the Church,E.G.White,p.144

A Christian mother will ever be wide awake to discern the dangers that surround her children.She will keep her own soul in a pure,holy,atmosphere; she will regulate her temper and principles by the word of God and will faithfully do her duty,living above the petty temptations which will assail her.-CCH,p.144

For more counsel on motherhood: Child Guidance by E.G White will come in handy.

The father’s role?

Levels of cuteness:).My dad was this type :)-story for another day.

To the man who is a husband and a father, I would say, Be sure tha

t a pure, holy

atmosphere surrounds your soul. You are to learn daily of Christ. Never, never are you

to show a tyrannical spirit in the home. The man who does this is working in partnership

with satanic agencies. Bring your will into submission to the wil

l of God. Do all in your

power to make the life of your wife pleasant and happy. Take the word of God as the

man of your counsel. In the home live out the teachings of the word. Then you will live

them out in the church and will take them with you to your

place of business. The

principles of heaven will ennoble all your transactions. Angels of God will cooperate with

you, helping you to reveal Christ to the world.(Counsels to the Church,E.G.White,p.146)

Therefore,parenting is team work:

The father’s duty to his children cannot be transferred to the mother. If she performs

her own duty, she has burden enough

to bear. Only by working in unison can the father

and mother accomplish the work which God has committed to their hands.-CCh,p146

 

The father should not excuse himself from his part in the work of educating his

children for life and immortality. He must

share in the responsibility. There is obligation

for both father and mother. There must be love and respect manifested by the parents

for one another, if they would see these qualities developed in their children.-CCh,p.146

Father’s responsibility to his sons:

The father of boys should co

me into close contact with his sons, giving them the

benefit of his larger experience and talking with them in such simplicity and tenderness

that he binds them to his heart. He should let them see that he has their best interest,

their happiness, in view all the time-CCh,p.146

He who has a family of boys must understand that, whatever his calling, he is never

to neglect the souls placed in his care. He has brought these children into the world and

has made himself responsible to God to do everything in

his power to keep them from

unsanctified associations, from evil companionship. He should not leave his restless

boys wholly to the care of the mother. This is too heavy a burden for her. He must

arrange matters for the best interests of the mother and th

e children. It may be very

hard for the mother to exercise self

control and to manage wisely in the training of her

children. If this is the case, the father should take more of the burden upon his soul. He

should be determined to make the most decided eff

orts to save his children.-CCh,p.146

Sobering statements honestly,they make my heart quiver with fear–not too late for those who’ve erred and those who are not yet parents.

Image Resources:

boca4kids.com

http://www.express.co.uk

blogs.babycenter.com

Morning Devotion Snippet:Points to ponder upon

Parents and teachers, in taking the responsibility of training these children, do not feel their accountability before God to become acquainted with the physical organism, that they may treat the bodies of their children and pupils in a manner to preserve life and health. Thousands of children die because of the ignorance of parents and teachers. Mothers will spend hours over needless work upon their own dresses and those of their children to fit them for display, and will then plead that they cannot find time to read up and obtain the information necessary to take care of the health of their children. They think it less trouble to trust their bodies to the doctors. In order to be in accordance with fashion and custom, many parents have sacrificed the health and lives of their children.

To become acquainted with the wonderful human organism, the bones, muscles, stomach, liver, bowels, heart, and pores of the skin, and to understand the dependence of one organ upon another for the healthful action of all, is a study in which most mothers take no interest. They know nothing of the influence of the body upon the mind and of the mind upon the body. The mind, which allies finite to the infinite, they do not seem to understand. Every organ of the body was made to be servant to the mind. The mind is the capital of the body. Children are allowed to eat flesh meats, spices, butter, cheese, pork, rich pastry, and condiments generally. They are also allowed to eat irregularly and between meals of unhealthful food. These things do their work of deranging the stomach, exciting the nerves to unnatural action, and enfeebling the intellect.

Parents do not realize that they are sowing the seed which will bring forth disease and death
Many children have been ruined for life by urging the intellect and neglecting to strengthen the physical powers. Many have died in childhood because of the course pursued by injudicious parents and schoolteachers in forcing their young intellects, by flattery or fear, when they were too young to see the inside of a schoolroom. Their minds have been taxed with lessons when they should not have been called out, but kept back until the physical constitution was strong enough to endure mental effort. Small children should be left as free as lambs to run out of doors, to be free and happy, and should be allowed the most favorable opportunities to lay the foundation for sound constitutions.

Parents should be the only teachers of their children until they have reached eight or ten years of age. As fast as their minds can comprehend it, the parents should open before them God's great book of nature. The mother should have less love for the artificial in her house and in the preparation of her dress for display, and should find time to cultivate, in herself and in her children, a love for the beautiful buds and opening flowers. By calling the attention of her children to their different colors and variety of forms, she can make them acquainted with God, who made all the beautiful things which attract and delight them. She can lead their minds up to their Creator and awaken in their young hearts a love for their heavenly Father, who has manifested so great love for them. Parents can associate God with all His created works. The only schoolroom for children from eight to ten years of age should be in the open air amid the opening flowers and nature's beautiful scenery. And their only textbook should be the treasures of nature. These lessons, imprinted upon the minds of young children amid the pleasant, attractive scenes of nature, will not be soon forgotten.

Source:Testimonies to the Church,Volume 3,Chapter 14:Proper Education