Is your relationship making you better?

I have read that the sole purpose of a relationship is NOT to make us happy,but to make us better people and it should lead heavenward!

One lady comes to mind and I can attest that a relationship,when led by God and when his principles are taken into the place of feelings,is much fruitful and beautiful.

This lady is a Christian and although she had grown up in a family that attends church she still felt something missing.Although she had been strict with gaurding her purity she still wanted a relationship with God.She got baptised and was convinced she had reached the ideal.What she did not know about herself was that she was still  self-absorbed.She only loved those who loved her.Then she met her boyfriend.Her boyfriend loves people and he's the type who'll just talk to anyone and shows kindness to any individual,regardless of their social status.This really stood out for the lady and she since asked the Lord for kindness as well,as she did not want to be like the many wives she had seen.She had noticed that most kind husbands had unkind wives who never manifested the same kindness as their wives and she prayed that she will be a kind wife.

She then realised that it was hypocritical to love her bf sincerely while she did not even pay much attention to her own siblings and loved ones.She then learnt to first honour those around her and then the bf.She was inspired as this boyfriend really loved God and she purposed to put God first in everything she did.She has since grown in her faith and together they have mentored a few young people.

They have since grown.They continue to face challenges.Like the last time,after having not seen each other for a long time,they held hands.But as it is their traditional,to review every action,they realised they had overstepped the boundaries and prayed for strength to ever be subject to God's will.Growth has not only occured on the lady alone,the bf has since become more purposeful and more determined in life.It is his deepest desire to shun every evil.

They continue to grow.They have since learnt that prayer,study of God's word and fasting avails much.Although they love each other,they still maintain reserve.They try to only speak that which is uplifting to each other.Their friendship is characterised by honesty-so much that they point out the wrongs in each other's character,so that each makes it to heaven.They continue to pursue God individually.

Can this be said about your relationship?Is your relationship calling you to purity and godliness?Are you growing daily and is your desire for serving the Lord growing?Or are you more focused on sensual objects and you are even losing zeal to pursue your own dreams?

Is courtship:

-Holding hands and being lovey dovey
-Being seen together everywhere
-Writing love posts on each other's walls
-Tagging each other on every status
-Constantly taking pics together
-Putting each other's pics as profiles on social networks (haha)
-Going out and having a good time-laughing,jesting,flirting
-Exploring forbidden ground
-Calling each other by sweet names:bae,baby,etc

This is what's common these days and it is labelled "courtship".
I'm not really concerned about discussing the DO's and  the DONT's,but I think it should be taken more seriously and solemnly THAN most times.I'm not an expert in this area and I'm not even a good counselor/"to go to" typa person,but I can't help feeling that we're taking it too lightly.

I just feel like love letters,picnics and updating relationshp status(es) is all we think about when the word "courtship" is mentioned.Then we beautify it by being in a relationship with a brother from church which makes us feel justified.When the brother is not EVEN a believer-"doesn't believe in present truth".

I feel like there are few who realise the responsibility that lies on their shoulders as they enter into these relations.I feel like we should indeed "make haste slow";and keep in mind that if these were to lead to matrimony,which is the end goal:our relationship with God will be affected either for good or bad and the state of future generations.And ofcourse we can selfishly enter into these relationships for our enjoyment,but what about the precious little souls that Christ has died for?Don't they deserve parents who will  raise them up to reach God's ideal?

At least,lets put our own desires aside and think about the plan of redemption at large:are we going to continue on our selfish ways,when these relationship could be used for the salvation of mankind?How about breaking them off or re-dedicating them:starting afresh with a vision and a mission and an eye single for God's glory?


It's not enough to not "touch","hug","kiss".It goes deeper.Preparation should be done.The young lady preparing to be an help-meet and the young man preparing to be a Priest-a ministry,a calling.We do ourselves good if we would consult God,His Word and the testimonies-rather than man-made ideals for relationships,which are often rooted on feelings,circumstances and other people's experiences.

"If there is any subject that should be considered with calm reason and unimpassioned judgment, it is the subject of marriage. If ever the Bible is needed as a counselor, it is before taking a step that binds persons together for life. But the prevailing sentiment is that in this matter the feelings are to be the guide, and in too many cases lovesick sentimentalism takes the helm and guides to certain ruin. It is here that the youth show less intelligence than on any other subject; it is here that they refuse to be reasoned with. The question of marriage seems to have a bewitching power over them. They do not submit themselves to God. Their senses are enchained, and they move forward in secretiveness, as if fearful that their plans would be interfered with by someone."-Adventist Home,p70


#Fearfully learning 

 

Godly Relationships :)

God calls each Christian to godly relationships,even when it comes to dating/courtship,so that we can do all to His glory :)!

I've come to realise that if we make God everything and we seek counsel when it comes to how we run our relationships it becomes joyful,I can testify.In the past,I was always worrying about what if something goes wrong or this or that BUT I'm learning that we do not only need God in our spiritual lives but every facet-including our courtship relations.And it is only when we make God the centre that we are able to have fulfilling relations that brings us joy and help us to grow spiritually.

Ways to pursue a godly relationship:

1.Allow God to lead you and always seek counsel from Him FIRST
2.Refrain from watching sensual movies or whatever as these contradict with what you're trying to pursue.For example,we are called to refrain from fornication,so if you watch things that encourage this,then you're likely to want to experiment and be a stumbling block to the other person.
3.Read God's word and learn together-for example,there was an instance when I struggled a bit with the concept of the Godhead and through God's providences,my dear friend came and we did a study and it's been clear ever since.
4.Pray for and with each other:for strength to go on,to overcome certain challenges and so that the devil cannot break the bond.
5.Don't compare your relationship to other people's - allow God to manifest Himself in yours
6.Seek counsel from godly individuals-whether from your parents,people from church etc.
7.Communicate-so that you're on the same page-shared vision and goal.To resolve conflict and not end up being angry with each other over minor things that could've been resolved.
8.Seek the other person's happiness above yours
9..Forgive-it helps to realise that you're in a relationship with another sinner
10.Pursue God individually-that way you grow and eliminate dishonouring God.This helps you to be pure in thoughts before you can be pure in deeds.
11.To the sisters-allow Him to lead,it encourages him to seek God more as He doesn't want to mislead you.
12.To males-do lead :).I once had a conversation with the sisters I live with and one expressed how she wanted the guy to lead,as she felt he was too soft etc.It's God's calling to men.
13.Give everything to God-trust him even with your relationship.He'll teach you how to serve,how to submit and it becomes easier when he is carrying the load.
14.Reflect-take time to reflect and see how you're doing-whether you're growing and what issues still need to be dealt with-e.g we had problems with late chatting-so we really had to discipline ourselves and pray.

And lastly,don't be absorbed with each other!As your relationship grows,your relationship with others is supposed to grow.Let brotherly love continue :-).