I think we need to talk about it and ways we can avoid it.It's sad to see so many Christian sisters falling pregnant-especially the ones who have served as a lot of inspiration to others.Even if they don't fall pregnant;knowing that they partake in it is sad,because they are harming themselves and they are dishonouring God.
But it all starts with God.If sexual purity is not practised because we seek to please God, it is easy to turn from it.When we understand that God loves us and he seeks to keep us from harm,then we'll understand that sexual intercourse has it's context,which is marriage.And seeing that God is loving and merciful,he will not withold anything if it's for our benefit.
As women who profess to be Christians,we need to uphold high standards and that's why we are admonished to have "shamefacedness and godly reserve".I believe if we do not entertatin flirting or drawing attention to ourselves then it won't be easy for brothers to enter into these conversations with us.
"A woman who will allow an unchaste word or hint to be uttered in her presence is not as God would have her; one that will permit any undue familiarity or impure suggestion does not preserve her godlike womanhood."~Adventist Home,ch.55,p.333
As much as the bf is the leader in the relationship (courtship),this doesn't mean you should agree to everything,even when you know it's sin.Pre-merital sex is a no go area.If he tempts you in this area,he still needs to learn of God's love- that love which is pure,that never compromises one's dignity and seeks to preserve.He will wait for marriage if he loves you,because love is patient (1 Corinthians 13:4).
Secondly,it all starts in the mind.You may not be doing it physically,but if you're still cherishing sexual thoughts-God takes it as if you've done it.The only thing stopping you is opportunity.Hence,we hear that a man who "looks lustfully at a woman has committed sexual sin"/adultery"-stealing what's not his.It all starts with purifying the thoughts and we are to remember what ever we hear,see,read forms our thoughts.
I remember how filthy my mind was when I used to read romantic novels to such an extent that I did not have an appetite for spiritual things.To have pure thoughts we need to totally turn away from all that is not "true,pure,just" (Philippians 4:8).This includes movies,novels,secular songs,certain posts on fb,etc.We need to purpose in our hearts to not let anything impure/wicked to come before us.Like David,we need to make this commitment:
But it all starts with God.If sexual purity is not practised because we seek to please God, it is easy to turn from it.When we understand that God loves us and he seeks to keep us from harm,then we'll understand that sexual intercourse has it's context,which is marriage.And seeing that God is loving and merciful,he will not withold anything if it's for our benefit.
As women who profess to be Christians,we need to uphold high standards and that's why we are admonished to have "shamefacedness and godly reserve".I believe if we do not entertatin flirting or drawing attention to ourselves then it won't be easy for brothers to enter into these conversations with us.
"A woman who will allow an unchaste word or hint to be uttered in her presence is not as God would have her; one that will permit any undue familiarity or impure suggestion does not preserve her godlike womanhood."~Adventist Home,ch.55,p.333
As much as the bf is the leader in the relationship (courtship),this doesn't mean you should agree to everything,even when you know it's sin.Pre-merital sex is a no go area.If he tempts you in this area,he still needs to learn of God's love- that love which is pure,that never compromises one's dignity and seeks to preserve.He will wait for marriage if he loves you,because love is patient (1 Corinthians 13:4).
Secondly,it all starts in the mind.You may not be doing it physically,but if you're still cherishing sexual thoughts-God takes it as if you've done it.The only thing stopping you is opportunity.Hence,we hear that a man who "looks lustfully at a woman has committed sexual sin"/adultery"-stealing what's not his.It all starts with purifying the thoughts and we are to remember what ever we hear,see,read forms our thoughts.
I remember how filthy my mind was when I used to read romantic novels to such an extent that I did not have an appetite for spiritual things.To have pure thoughts we need to totally turn away from all that is not "true,pure,just" (Philippians 4:8).This includes movies,novels,secular songs,certain posts on fb,etc.We need to purpose in our hearts to not let anything impure/wicked to come before us.Like David,we need to make this commitment:
" I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me."-Psalm 101:3
"He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight."-Psalm 101:7
Thing is,the more you read,see and listen to impure things you are slowly being drawn to them and these are able to make you even practise it."By beholding we become changed".The more you see it,the more you start to doubt it's evilness and the next thing you know,you're practising it because your stand against it is becoming weakened.
Also,we need to stop cherishing impure ideas-daydreaming and castlebuilding also.SOP says that the character is not formed by one wrong act,but by cherished feelings and thoughts.And so if we want to be perfect as God has called us to be,we need not to entertain such unbecoming thoughts.Whenever I get an impure suggestion,I pray and it helps.It also helps to realise that God sees even our thoughts and when we live knowing that we are in God's presence,it becomes easier to refrain from evil.
We must not allow our minds to be idle.Keeping busy keeps the devil at bay.
" In His (Jesus') industrious life there were no idle moments to invite temptation. No aimless hours opened the way for corrupting associations. So far as possible, He closed the door to the tempter. Neither gain nor pleasure, applause nor censure, could induce Him to consent to a wrong act. He was wise to discern evil, and strong to resist it."-The Desire of Ages,chapter 7:As a Child,p.72
Thirdly,we need to LITERALLY "flee fornication" (1 Corinthians 6:18) as advised in God's Word.This passage is not conditional,it doesn't say, "if you know you're not strong enough,then flee".Sin,is one of those things we need not to even entertain.Many have seen themselves as strong and have thought themselves wise.Many have said they will never be overcome by this sin but they fell.The truth of the matter is,we are weak.If we want to be pure,we don't need to prove how much we can resist,but to run.If Joseph didn't flee,I'm sure the passage would read differently.Had David fled,/averted his eyes from the naked woman,I'm sure we'd have a different story.
Some of the practical ways we can "flee":
-Don't be alone with your bf in a room-bring a friend,sibling etc
-Don't entertain impure suggestions:Some conversations start innocently with the bf talking about you being married,the next thing he's talking about the honeymoon phase.As a godly woman,you need to not let the conversation go further.Tell him the context is not appropriate,you are not married and you save yourself and him from sinning.Even with your female friends,refrain from such talks.
-No kissing,touching-these activities have a way of leading to sexual thoughts.You may not be thinking such,but the other person may be.
-Meet outdoors where you're surrounded by people
Fourthly,fill your mind with God's Word.
"Thy word have I hid in mine heart that I might not sin against thee"
Memorizing verses that talk about refraining from sexual sin is crucial as these will remind you when you're tempted.
Also,praying for strength to be pure really helps .
As ladies we have a responsibility to guard ourselves and those we love (bf,fiance).It is not loving to allow the guy to mislead you.Christ has died for us and the least we can do is to honour him even in our relationships.We need to stand for what is true and we need to lovingly lead our bfs to God.Hence,we are admonished to be "sober" and to "watch".We need the presence of the Holy Spirit and we need to be attentive to His still voice.
Also,we need to dress appropriately.I personally believe in order for a man to "look lustfully at a woman" there are parts (cleavage,thighs,legs) that will lead to such thoughts.So,we need to hide every suggestive part,so that our brothers do not get tempted.
"He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight."-Psalm 101:7
Thing is,the more you read,see and listen to impure things you are slowly being drawn to them and these are able to make you even practise it."By beholding we become changed".The more you see it,the more you start to doubt it's evilness and the next thing you know,you're practising it because your stand against it is becoming weakened.
Also,we need to stop cherishing impure ideas-daydreaming and castlebuilding also.SOP says that the character is not formed by one wrong act,but by cherished feelings and thoughts.And so if we want to be perfect as God has called us to be,we need not to entertain such unbecoming thoughts.Whenever I get an impure suggestion,I pray and it helps.It also helps to realise that God sees even our thoughts and when we live knowing that we are in God's presence,it becomes easier to refrain from evil.
We must not allow our minds to be idle.Keeping busy keeps the devil at bay.
" In His (Jesus') industrious life there were no idle moments to invite temptation. No aimless hours opened the way for corrupting associations. So far as possible, He closed the door to the tempter. Neither gain nor pleasure, applause nor censure, could induce Him to consent to a wrong act. He was wise to discern evil, and strong to resist it."-The Desire of Ages,chapter 7:As a Child,p.72
Thirdly,we need to LITERALLY "flee fornication" (1 Corinthians 6:18) as advised in God's Word.This passage is not conditional,it doesn't say, "if you know you're not strong enough,then flee".Sin,is one of those things we need not to even entertain.Many have seen themselves as strong and have thought themselves wise.Many have said they will never be overcome by this sin but they fell.The truth of the matter is,we are weak.If we want to be pure,we don't need to prove how much we can resist,but to run.If Joseph didn't flee,I'm sure the passage would read differently.Had David fled,/averted his eyes from the naked woman,I'm sure we'd have a different story.
Some of the practical ways we can "flee":
-Don't be alone with your bf in a room-bring a friend,sibling etc
-Don't entertain impure suggestions:Some conversations start innocently with the bf talking about you being married,the next thing he's talking about the honeymoon phase.As a godly woman,you need to not let the conversation go further.Tell him the context is not appropriate,you are not married and you save yourself and him from sinning.Even with your female friends,refrain from such talks.
-No kissing,touching-these activities have a way of leading to sexual thoughts.You may not be thinking such,but the other person may be.
-Meet outdoors where you're surrounded by people
Fourthly,fill your mind with God's Word.
"Thy word have I hid in mine heart that I might not sin against thee"
Memorizing verses that talk about refraining from sexual sin is crucial as these will remind you when you're tempted.
Also,praying for strength to be pure really helps .
As ladies we have a responsibility to guard ourselves and those we love (bf,fiance).It is not loving to allow the guy to mislead you.Christ has died for us and the least we can do is to honour him even in our relationships.We need to stand for what is true and we need to lovingly lead our bfs to God.Hence,we are admonished to be "sober" and to "watch".We need the presence of the Holy Spirit and we need to be attentive to His still voice.
Also,we need to dress appropriately.I personally believe in order for a man to "look lustfully at a woman" there are parts (cleavage,thighs,legs) that will lead to such thoughts.So,we need to hide every suggestive part,so that our brothers do not get tempted.
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