August has really been a beautiful month for me. I thank
God for reaching out to me in a special way. And I had such a deep, personal,
reviving experience with God when I went to the annual Adventist Women’s
Ministries retreat which takes place around 9th-12th of August. So,
prior to the whole experience I really felt stuck- particularly with regards to
my life direction and career. It got to a point where I just stopped trying and
I really didn’t care. I felt I had ‘tried’ and I just got so defeated that all that
I had left was my confusion. To add on that was my constant fear for the
future. My fear stemmed from the fact that my dream of becoming independent had
not come into fruition and when I continued to reflect, I just felt
overwhelmed. I think this had been happening for the past year or so too. But through
all of this, I kept praying, asking God to show me what path to take, encourage
me, just anything.
And God really came through for me when I attended the
retreat. The retreat is arranged in such a way that you have accommodation
which you arrange as a church. Then there are various sessions that deal with a
lot of women-related issues that are in the ministry. But I’ll delve on that on
upcoming blog posts. So, when I attended I had so many questions with regards
to how to deal with socio-related issues, but mostly personal issues. And the
one thing I am grateful for is that everything that was said was so relevant
that I could truly hear God speak to me personally and answering each question I
had. In fact, God exceeded my expectations by going a little bit further and
answering questions I didn’t even know I had. He even went so far as revealing
things in my heart that I was not even aware of. Like David I can testify that
God ‘triest the heart’. And truly God is ‘able
to do exceeding abundantly all that we (I) ask or think.’
I think because of my failure with attaining independence
I unconsciously adopted the dependency mentality- where I was giving into the
idea that someone was just going to save me or give me a job. But God in His
mercy sent Doctor Mweemba who was one of the speakers to reach out to me. His talk
was titled ‘Start Happening’ and it was spot on. Have you ever heard God speak
to you such that all you could do was sigh? Ever been exposed such that all you
could do was to give praise to God? That was my experience. I love how God
deals with us through the Holy Spirit. I love the fact that when we are down
and hopeless, God does not discourage us further. Instead, He inspires us with
new zeal to try again and be encouraged. Such a gentle, loving God we serve! At
this point, I didn’t need a lecture on how I had wasted time. I had done that
enough. And I am so thankful to God for dealing with me lovingly.
The talk was essentially awakening us to the fact that we
are each blessed with capabilities for success. More so, we have been created
equally and those who make a success out of their lives have not been given
superior capabilities. What I really got from the session was the need to take
charge of my life. I had stopped trying and I started to blame things on
circumstances. But I left there knowing that it’s all in my hands and I had to
rightly use the power of choice that God has given me.
There was also a monologue that was read each day over
and over again. It’s found in 2 Timothy 1:1-18. One verse particularly stood
out for me- since it had a solution for what I had been struggling with for
years.
verse7: For God hath not
given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
And ever since then, each day has been an experience of
trusting, of knowing that I can do ALL things in Christ through the power of
His might.
Image Source:
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