"LOVE, according to scripture, is to will another’s good. Love is not
merely liking the pleasure others give us. It is not treating them as a
means to our satisfaction — this would be to put ourselves in the place
of God. Love is obedience to Him who is love. It is not a mood or a
preference or an emotion. It is not “feeling good about” somebody. It is
a command. Therefore it requires our will, and our conscious action."-Elisabeth Elliot
I agree with her.Love is rarely understood sadly.Novels,movies always associate with feelings.
I'm sharing a room with a dear soul and my living with her has taught me that love is not conditional and it is not subjective.I love my own space and I sometimes dread talking in the morning.So,every time I woke up I'd have to greet her.Then when I came back she'd be watching tv and this did made me angry.I thought about telling her but then I thought she enjoys it and she'll just lower the volume as she does always when I'm studyingSo I decided to sleep when she watched TV and then wake up around 12 or so and I must say it's working.If I had a bad day or I was exhausted from my 12 hour shift at the hospital,I'd just greet her and not ask how she was etc.It was all about how I felt.But the the Holy Spirit convicted me..From this I learnt,love isn't about getting what you want but giving someone else the opportunity to have what they want.
I realised that if I'm to share the good news with her,I had to exemplify Christ.So,instead of just greeting her I'd ask her how she is and how her day was.I try,God helping me,to be kind and considerate of her and I've realised she's a sweet soul.I even pray for her :).And I love our relationship.Sometimes she confides in me and I always feel humbled.What would have happened if I decided to be moody and speak with her when I want to?Living with her would be unbearable and instead of exemplifying Christ,I'd be the object of pride.This whole experience is teaching me that love is a choice and it is not neccesarily accompanied by happy feelings always and happy feelings towards others aren't neccessarily proof of love...because the next day you might not feel so loving but that doesn't mean you must not love.
When you look at Christ,he gave himself for us so that we could have eternal life.It wasn't all roses at Gethsemane nor was he excited in the Cross.He was going through pain as he had been beaten and he was obviously tired as he had to bear the Cross.Yet amid all this,he decided to love by giving his life for us.This is love that the world does not know and is not accustomed to.We live in a world that makes love a conditional thing,which always looks at opportunities to get,to be made happy instead of giving oneself up.But God requires that we follow in His example-giving his son for us.
And I'm convinced if we had this kind of love,if we practised it there'd be less divorces,quarrels,gossip and division among us.I'm more than convinced that our hearts would be bound by this love and we'd have pure,uplifting relationships in every area-whether marriage/work related,with our brethren etc.
I want this love.I need God to impart it to me.Love that will sacrifice for the good of others.Love that will draw souls to Christ.Love that is not changed by circumstances or feelings.
I agree with her.Love is rarely understood sadly.Novels,movies always associate with feelings.
I'm sharing a room with a dear soul and my living with her has taught me that love is not conditional and it is not subjective.I love my own space and I sometimes dread talking in the morning.So,every time I woke up I'd have to greet her.Then when I came back she'd be watching tv and this did made me angry.I thought about telling her but then I thought she enjoys it and she'll just lower the volume as she does always when I'm studyingSo I decided to sleep when she watched TV and then wake up around 12 or so and I must say it's working.If I had a bad day or I was exhausted from my 12 hour shift at the hospital,I'd just greet her and not ask how she was etc.It was all about how I felt.But the the Holy Spirit convicted me..From this I learnt,love isn't about getting what you want but giving someone else the opportunity to have what they want.
I realised that if I'm to share the good news with her,I had to exemplify Christ.So,instead of just greeting her I'd ask her how she is and how her day was.I try,God helping me,to be kind and considerate of her and I've realised she's a sweet soul.I even pray for her :).And I love our relationship.Sometimes she confides in me and I always feel humbled.What would have happened if I decided to be moody and speak with her when I want to?Living with her would be unbearable and instead of exemplifying Christ,I'd be the object of pride.This whole experience is teaching me that love is a choice and it is not neccesarily accompanied by happy feelings always and happy feelings towards others aren't neccessarily proof of love...because the next day you might not feel so loving but that doesn't mean you must not love.
When you look at Christ,he gave himself for us so that we could have eternal life.It wasn't all roses at Gethsemane nor was he excited in the Cross.He was going through pain as he had been beaten and he was obviously tired as he had to bear the Cross.Yet amid all this,he decided to love by giving his life for us.This is love that the world does not know and is not accustomed to.We live in a world that makes love a conditional thing,which always looks at opportunities to get,to be made happy instead of giving oneself up.But God requires that we follow in His example-giving his son for us.
And I'm convinced if we had this kind of love,if we practised it there'd be less divorces,quarrels,gossip and division among us.I'm more than convinced that our hearts would be bound by this love and we'd have pure,uplifting relationships in every area-whether marriage/work related,with our brethren etc.
I want this love.I need God to impart it to me.Love that will sacrifice for the good of others.Love that will draw souls to Christ.Love that is not changed by circumstances or feelings.
Oh sis. I love that type of love. There was a young lady who went full blast "I want you to mentor me, I want you to be my other mother..." A few loving rebukes later, she's gone. Disappeared. I've tried chasing but you can't force a relationship. We all need humility and love. Keep praying for that flatmate of yours. Even if the seeds don't seem to have been planted now, who knows what will happen at harvest time?
ReplyDeleteThank you for the kind words.What a pity!But I was like her a few years ago.I thought if someone rebuked me they wanted to control me.It's only now that I'm appreciating such.Be not be discouraged sisi.I'll pray that God will convict her :).But true,some relationships cannot be mended,for peace's sake.
ReplyDeleteLove and roommates, this is never an easy combination.
ReplyDeleteI've had many roommates but only two who truly influenced me and taught me, though in different ways, what it means to be a christian. One of the two I ended up resenting for some time while the other, I still consider her a pure blessing. My 1st roommate after high school was a beautiful, lovely, refined young lady who quoted Shakespeare and sister White with such grace and once told me that if life had worked the way we wish, she would have become a ballerina. She probably regrets ever moving in with me because, well, I was a typical selfish 17 year old fresh from sharing a roof with 39 girls who threw punches at each other because the girl downstairs took the other's lunch on Monday, cut her off in the laundry queue on Thursday and rumour has it that she's been bashing her eyelashes on a boyfriend that isn't her's!...or you fought simply because your chocolate went missing and you found it the next day hidden in between your best friend's pillows. To say the least, my new rose petal-like roommate and I were not such a great match. I admired her and we often had fun together but somehow we did not quite understand each other so by the end of the year passive aggressiveness sort of ruled our house, and we were both ready to get rid of each other. She tried to be patient with me though, I tried too. Fast forward it to a few years later when I was introduced to dear sister Happy, a true blessing. When I moved in with Happy I was really not much different from the 17 year old I had been. But there was something I saw in Happy that I had never seen before. Happy was ever gentle and kind, not one to complain or express annoyance, she'd simply sigh and say 'yah nhe...' but still laugh with you 2 minutes later. This intrigued me, even years after we were no longer staying together. I realise that back then I had a tendency of wearing thin on people's patience so I don't know whether Happy too was ready to get rid of me by the end of the year or what, but because she never expressed nor even implied it so, I appreciated her more.
Both these roommates taught me a lot. I resented my first roommate because I had built up expectations for her, expectations she could not fulfill. I admired her and in my naive mind I hoped that because she was older, and a dear sister in Christ, she would impart and teach me the lessons of life. I am one who is ever eager to learn from people, and sometimes this is a crutch. My first roommate was so different from what I was used to: she spoke differently, she dressed differently and touched people differently. I noticed, but never knew why, and I guess I was also hoping that she would tell me why, but she never did. She kept her faith and the lessons from God to herself. She was not one to share, she often attributed that to the fact that she raised an only child in her family and therefore always kept to herself. I no longer resent my roommate of course, I understand her better now and probably still hope to learn from her someday. But then there was Happy who had an open heart, she shared with me everything: her bed, her food, and the lessons she had learnt from her morning devotions, she satisfied my craving to learn, a learning that personally led me to the Cross.
This has taught me that a little patience and understanding can go a long way. No one is born a Proverbs 31 woman just as much as we do not automatically become submissive Christians, all of this we learn as we go through life. There are many ways of learning, some will learn through reading, others through listening but there are those, who like me, learn through seeing the behaviour of others. Now I realise that if I be impatient and be quick to anger I deny the opportunity to reveal God to another person.
For the sake of those we influence, we need to be ever ready to allow ourselves to be moulded by Christ and to ever live in a widening circle of patience, kindness, mercy, love.