Lately, I've been trying to understand why some children who have been raised in Christian households and who have attended church from birth still turn out to be non-Christians or end up leaving the church.Looking at my own personal life,raised by a single mother I can account it to many things.
As much as I'm grateful for all that my mom has done for me and account my acceptance of God to a large extent on her,I still think there were two problems that could have been avoided to ensure that I accept Jesus from a young age.The first one is:"seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness" was outweighed by "all these things shall be added unto you".Being a single parent meant my mom had to provide for us:food,clothes,school fees and more and in the end the spiritual life was neglected.As much as my mom taught us the Bible and tried to live out according to the light she had received,I now realize she should have done more-because mothers are called to be teachers of the children. Our spiritual life was not only meant to be fed during family worship but even in daily duties Christ should have been the centre and she was supposed to put our spiritual needs before anything else.This does not come from me-I learnt this as I was reading Child Guidance by Ellen White.
Also my mom wanted to give us an education,even though it was according to the standard of the world because she herself didn't have the opportunity to have one.So,she always encouraged us to study hard and work hard.By God's grace we then attended an adventist school,even though my mom could rarely afford it.We did about 11 subjects (grade 5-7) and that meant even during vacation we had school work.And it was in these moments that mother encouraged us to work hard and so getting good grades become my central attention and God became secondary.At least I had the privilege to learn about God daily in this school and one of the subject I did was Bible Studies, so at least I still enjoyed reading the word of God.
As a result of the emphasis of education and me knowing that it would afford me a job one day so that I could take care of my mom,I ended up leaving the church to pursue my education.In grade 12 an adventist teacher encouraged me to attend Saturday classes that were offered by a certain organisation.I had argued with him that Saturday was God's day but through his persuasion and my deep desire to excel,I ended up going.Pity it was an adventist teacher who convinced me to go against God's command but I'm to blame since he never forced me.And in the end I did excel well but I had stopped going to church and I had lost interest in God's things.
Secondly,we were not raised to "do all things to the glory of God".One thing I now consider a blessing is growing up without a TV-it wasn't really my mom's decision,we just couldn't afford it.But we'd go to our neighbours once in a while to watch TV.My mom loves reading,so she brought home loads of magazines and so as a young girl I was exposed to that environment.Although my mom cares little about fashion-and has always been modest in her dress,the magazines made me focus more on clothes and they influenced my understanding of what beauty was.So,I would spend hours reading about celebs stories and I chose these over house chores.I knew everything about celebs.In fact, I knew about 100 american celebs by head. You can imagine the evil I was exposed to,since this is plain idleness.We also had novels,and as someone who loves to read I spent most of my time reading them.No,both my mom and I spent time reading them.But my love increased more when I was in grade 10 .So,I'd spend school vacation reading and I especially loved romantic novels,even though there were other things I was exposed to while reading them.And as I look back at some of my past dealings, I realise to a great deal my actions were simply me living out all that I had read in these novels.
As I look back I realised mom didn't really cultivate in us a love for holy things and she didn't remove all that was not "holy,pure and true".She only started buying Spirit of Prophecy when I was around 16 and by this time I only had preference for magazines and novels and my school books only.I remember once trying to read the Great Controversy (I think) and I couldn't even finish a page.I just felt that the english was too hard to be understood-as if the one in the novels was simple.
And so these experiences have made me realise that growing in a Christian home doesn't neccesarily mean one will turn out as a Christian,unless every worldly thing is removed.If parents want to raise children who will live for God they need to remove every snare-TV,magazines,worldly music,novels etc and in all they do,they should consider whether it is of God or not.They need to love God and they need to consider him in every little thing and as they do this,they will grow and be examples to their kids.The sad part is,God cannot make up for these mistakes,even if the parents had light or not,the consequences are still there.And as I look at my upbringing,I can only say it's God's grace,my mom's teachings and the prayers my mom and others have uttered on my behalf.
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