I have come to realise that the home influence plays a great deal in how we turn out to be and in our Christianity.And to large extent,I blame parents for their children not turning out as Christians. Of course this argument is two sided and both sides are true:as much as parents are responsible,so are the kids.After all, parents can do all that they were supposed to do and the children may still not be saved.And this is the sad reality of the great controversy between good and evil.But I'd like to focus on the influence of the home life since I've been studying about it's influence on how children turn out.
I decided to read Child Guidance since I felt the need to be prepared to raise kids if God were to call me to it and since I started wondering what marriage entails and how children were to be raised.And I'm grateful to God for bringing the thought.In fact,it was the Holy Spirit-since every good thing is cultivated by him.And as I started to read the book I was pained and I'm still pained.I looked at my life and saw how much light had been neglected and what hurt more is when I look around.The sad reality is,even the church looks at family life and deals with surface topics.But if much could be studied concerning the home life then we would see change.
But I've since come to realise that each person has the responsibility to know God's will for himself,since christianity is an individual thing.The sad thing is, even with family life programmes in the church, they still miss the point.You'll find out that mostly people talk about their experiences- and as much as that is good,we all need to know what God says,after all He is the author of marriage and families-it was His design.
The sad thing is,as much as Christians are getting into relationships-they still do not make God the counselor.His Word and the testimonies are replaced by other authors.Of course, there is nothing wrong with reading how other godly Christians make it work- but God's Word must be the ultimate rule since it is a command and can help each family achieve God's ideal for family life.I believe if God's Word and Spirit of Prophecy were read and lived out,the world would have more Christians who are standing for truth and there would be families that represent the heavenly home.
I've also learnt that we have a poor view of what a godly courtship and a godly marriage looks like.I blame this on allowing the world to set standards for us. We are always told to not be unequally yoked as if that's the only thing.I believe more emphasis should be placed in the need for holiness in both the courtship and the marriage relation.Courtship,I personally believe,is not entered with the right spirit-which is to glorify God.Sometimes or many times it is,but then the couple starts relaxing and focus on themselves more rather than what God requires.And in the end,God's will is lightly regarded.Nothing wrong with being there for each other BUT not at the expense of God's will.
Courtship is often described as a stage where the parties involved determine whether it is the will of God for them to get married,but how can that be if the couple is NOT praying continually and studying together about marriage and raising children in the Lord?I now realise why the couple cotimplating the marriage relation should pray more;for God's leading and to know His will.We often get into these courtships with the mindset of "as long as we don't fornicate, kiss, hold hands,hug we are safe".And yes we are, but it's more than the boundaries.It's more about God and his desire for us to reach a higher standard.Even the courtship stage should encourage both parties involved to pursue holiness.So, it is not enough to be in a courtship or to be engaged to a believe who shares the same beliefs,but both parties have a responsibility to seek God's will and understand what marriage entails.
Sadly,many prepare for the marriage relation in the marriage itself.As much as SOP defines marriage as a school where there is continual growth,the preparation must be done before hand.Like the bride and the bridegroom plan and prepare for the wedding,there needs to be preparation for marriage.It is not enough to compliment each other,after all you can compliment each other in sin,like Ananias and Sapphira did.If love for God and his will is not supreme,then it's all in vain.
My advice would be; couples really need to study the purpose of the marriage relation and adhere to its requirements.We are only safe when we take God at His Word.The males need to understand what their role is and the females also.And all this has been revealed in God's Word and SOP.I've often wondered looking at how certain couples raise their children if they have ever read Adventist Home and Child Guidance and other books. Of course it is not enough to read these,but we are to apply.As I read Child Guidance I realised the reason some children aren't christians is because the parents themselves aren't converted.So,there needs to be repentance too.
For example:I've learnt that no evil suggestions,whether by reading,hearing or seeing should be allowed in the home (child guidance) and this has to begin with me.I must avert my eyes from every evil suggestion and as much as it's a struggle-all for the sake of my salvation,my future husband and that of my children.It's deep.As much as the courtship relationship needs to be a process of getting to know each other,there needs to be time of getting to know God's will.If we are not influencing each other heavenward during the courtship,what will change during marriage?
We need to look beyond the wedding day,we need to look beyond whether he can provide and if she's a good cook (and as much these are of great importance) , there needs to be a balance between the practical and the spiritual.What is the point of marrying one who is willing to provide but who doesn't fear the Lord?And we need the Lord every step of the way.As we continually seek His will and do it,He will work with us.
WE ARE IN A SPIRITUAL WARFARE AND WE ARE TO ALWAYS KEEP IN MIND-THERE IS NO TIME FOR RELAXING.EVEN WHEN WE HAVE GOOD TIMES,THEY SHOULD BE IN THE LORD!
#Learning and Reflecting
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