This was the discussion on S.A fm this morning-it was very insightful and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I only had one argument concerning this question and it was-still is,NO!A friend made me realise this,as I was too blind to even notice-but the difference in rearing both girls and boys has been there-at least in the black community.
Argument 1: The parents tend to be strict when raising their girls.They set curfews for girls, they set clear chores, and often girls are taught to be responsible:taking care of themselves.Nothing wrong with this way of rearing girls as we need responsible women who will play a pivotal role in society.On the negative:In most cases,the grip is loosened when raising a male child-he’s not taught to be governed by rules, no curfews are set out for him,and he can do as much as he pleases,with discipline here and there.
Parents might feel like the world is against the female child:if she falls pregnant,her life changes and is put on a standstill.Sounds fair I know.But the reality is:girls do not get themselves pregnant.It is the male child that impregnates-so he ought to be taught to be responsible too.When both are clear of the responsibility,then we are able to solve the issue.The male child would realise his role in improving society,thus making good choices.
Society,to a large degree,conditions the female child to conduct herself such that she’d be a good wife with dignity.Wrong way of rearing the female child–of course my approach is from a Christian perspective,which supports that both males and females should be brought up in the fear of the Lord,for it is Him who seeks us to be pure and holy ,with the aid He offers.
The male is not conditioned to take responsibility;perhaps the desire was to teach the male child to be responsible through certain rites of passages,but the period is too short.Males should be prepared from childhood too,and the outcome will be balanced. Instead, we currently have a majority of males who live recklessly–some carelessly having children,and when they finally decide to change their ways (which is plausible),there’s an imbalance:one who is prepared for a healthy
relationship(marriage) and one who is not.Perhaps,that sometimes lead to divorce–I’m not sure.
Argument 2:Parents want to outsource their children to institutions such as the school and the church,while they fold their hands and do nothing.
Said another caller and I thoroughly concur.Children are raising
themselves these days.Parenting is limited to providing the needs of a child.My brother and I used to be amazed at how children from our street would be playing from morning till sunset during school vacation.Weren’t their parents bothered by the children’s absence?When do parents pass down values,when children are away majority of the time?
What then is the duty of the mother? (From counsels–been studying
this for a while,and I had vowed to not write about things I have no
experience of;thankfully,this is counsel from God,not my opinions):
I only had one argument concerning this question and it was-still is,NO!A friend made me realise this,as I was too blind to even notice-but the difference in rearing both girls and boys has been there-at least in the black community.
Argument 1: The parents tend to be strict when raising their girls.They set curfews for girls, they set clear chores, and often girls are taught to be responsible:taking care of themselves.Nothing wrong with this way of rearing girls as we need responsible women who will play a pivotal role in society.On the negative:In most cases,the grip is loosened when raising a male child-he’s not taught to be governed by rules, no curfews are set out for him,and he can do as much as he pleases,with discipline here and there.
Parents might feel like the world is against the female child:if she falls pregnant,her life changes and is put on a standstill.Sounds fair I know.But the reality is:girls do not get themselves pregnant.It is the male child that impregnates-so he ought to be taught to be responsible too.When both are clear of the responsibility,then we are able to solve the issue.The male child would realise his role in improving society,thus making good choices.
Society,to a large degree,conditions the female child to conduct herself such that she’d be a good wife with dignity.Wrong way of rearing the female child–of course my approach is from a Christian perspective,which supports that both males and females should be brought up in the fear of the Lord,for it is Him who seeks us to be pure and holy ,with the aid He offers.
The male is not conditioned to take responsibility;perhaps the desire was to teach the male child to be responsible through certain rites of passages,but the period is too short.Males should be prepared from childhood too,and the outcome will be balanced. Instead, we currently have a majority of males who live recklessly–some carelessly having children,and when they finally decide to change their ways (which is plausible),there’s an imbalance:one who is prepared for a healthy
relationship(marriage) and one who is not.Perhaps,that sometimes lead to divorce–I’m not sure.
Argument 2:Parents want to outsource their children to institutions such as the school and the church,while they fold their hands and do nothing.
[Parents] should calmly consider what provision can be made for their children. They
have no right to bring children into the world to be a burden to others.-CCh,p.144
The sphere of the mother may be humble; but her influence, united with the fathe
r’s,is as abiding as eternity.Next to God,the mother’s power for good is the strongest known on earth.-Counsels to the Church,E.G.White,p.144
A Christian mother will ever be wide awake to discern the dangers that surround her children.She
will keep her own soul in a pure,holy,atmosphere; she will regulate her
temper and principles by the word of God and will faithfully do her
duty,living above the petty temptations which will assail her.-CCH,p.144
For more counsel on motherhood: Child Guidance by E.G White will come in handy.
The father’s role?
 | ||||
| Levels of cuteness:).My dad was this type :)-story for another day. |
To the man who is a husband and a father, I would say, Be sure tha
t a pure, holy
atmosphere surrounds your soul. You are to learn daily of Christ. Never, never are you
to show a tyrannical spirit in the home. The man who does this is working in partnership
with satanic agencies. Bring your will into submission to the wil
l of God. Do all in your
power to make the life of your wife pleasant and happy. Take the word of God as the
man of your counsel. In the home live out the teachings of the word. Then you will live
them out in the church and will take them with you to your
place of business. The
principles of heaven will ennoble all your transactions. Angels of God will cooperate with
you, helping you to reveal Christ to the world.(Counsels to the Church,E.G.White,p.146)
Therefore,parenting is team work:
The father’s duty to his children cannot be transferred to the mother. If she performs
her own duty, she has burden enough
to bear. Only by working in unison can the father
and mother accomplish the work which God has committed to their hands.-CCh,p146
The father should not excuse himself from his part in the work of educating his
children for life and immortality. He must
share in the responsibility. There is obligation
for both father and mother. There must be love and respect manifested by the parents
for one another, if they would see these qualities developed in their children.-CCh,p.146
Father’s responsibility to his sons:
The father of boys should co
me into close contact with his sons, giving them the
benefit of his larger experience and talking with them in such simplicity and tenderness
that he binds them to his heart. He should let them see that he has their best interest,
their happiness, in view all the time-CCh,p.146
He who has a family of boys must understand that, whatever his calling, he is never
to neglect the souls placed in his care. He has brought these children into the world and
has made himself responsible to God to do everything in
his power to keep them from
unsanctified associations, from evil companionship. He should not leave his restless
boys wholly to the care of the mother. This is too heavy a burden for her. He must
arrange matters for the best interests of the mother and th
e children. It may be very
hard for the mother to exercise self
control and to manage wisely in the training of her
children. If this is the case, the father should take more of the burden upon his soul. He
should be determined to make the most decided eff
orts to save his children.-CCh,p.146
Sobering statements honestly,they make my heart quiver with fear–not too
late for those who’ve erred and those who are not yet parents.
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