Tuesday 5 November 2013

HEART RELIGION

I thank God for the privilege of being born into an adventist family :)!Yet,at times this can blind you of what's expected of you.At times,if pride is not thrown away,you may find yourself bragging about this privilege.What I realised is, for me christianity was an outward form and about maintaining a standard so that when people looked at me they could say "you are a good girl",and well they did.I was always concerned about what people will say,instead of,how will God feel?I became so full of self so much that I came to a point of thinking "man,I'm holy".My criteria of holiness was a comparison of others with myself.I never understood that its a heart thing,whereby love for God motivates every decision.

For me,love was absent.I thought I loved,BUT I discovered my love didn't match God's description,but I felt I couldn't do much about it.I trusted too much of self,that I believed I could love without being connected to God-but I was met with failure and dissapointment.I tried to ask for help from God but I'd always run before him.I ended up compromising some principles because I lost sight of my duty to God.

It's only now that I understand,I am feeble and weak.I realise now that it's all waste to "appear" to be christian when the heart is not changed.And often,I'm aware of my shortcomings.Now,it is my daily prayer that God's LOVE may dwell in my heart:that I may be loving at all times and put others before me.I realise NOW I have a duty to God,to LOVE,before seeking to proclaim the gospel-because it's a gospel of LOVE.

Now,I realise,I'd rather be immodest than be unloving,I'd rather be a drunkard than be unkind.I realise,it's better to be sinner that's caring than an uncaring adventist(but ofcourse all good things come from God).It is only now that I realise OUTWARD SHOW is all in vain,if the HEART is not changed.And that's why it's easy to judge others.NOW,I am aware of my need: a Heart Like Jesus' so that I can always say words of kindness,show kindness and deny myself at all costs.THE GOSPEL is more of WHAT we do DO,than what we SAY and my prayer is:May I speak and do what God regards as good rather than what I think is good.It's a struggle,a DAILY struggle,BUT the Word of God tells me "what is impossible with man,is possible with God"-Luke 18:27.And I'm confident that He's able to change my heart and cleanse me from all unrighteousness and present me as white as snow.

I realise,without love(unconditional) for God,all is in vain!And,when we are not connected to the source of LIGHT,it's impossible to do much.You'll sometimes wonder:"why am I selfish?","why am I not evangelising?" but I realise it's all about your relationship with God.And I've learnt we should never feel confident in ourselves,NOT EVEN ONCE.

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