Nor does
she allow herself to be in situations where she will end up assuming nor does
she allow her mind to assume.
What I mean is, we should not conclude until something is stated, as we are putting ourselves on the devil's ground. This I've seen especially in our relationships with our brothers. A brother will show kindness towards a sister, share the Word, be there for her and she will suddenly assume he's interested in her. Or a brother may give certain looks at a sister and she will assume the same. I’ve been a victim of this and by God's grace I see its evilness and slowly overcoming, through His grace.
Most of my sisters have been hurt because of this. I remember an instance when a lady I know had been in a long friendship with a certain guy and because they shared their problems with each other they became close-this is a general thing, the more we share certain things about ourselves with certain individuals the bond becomes tight. This is evident in our spiritual life as well-there more time we spend in prayer and in God's word, witnessing we become closer to God. But back to my story, she started viewing the guy friend in a different light and would have loved a relationship with him.
But sadly, the idea was not mutual. And she was badly hurt and then she went on to say the friend used him. But on what grounds? He was never in a relationship with her to begin with. And there is a lot of this going on between brothers and sisters in the church. But this is not how God would have it.
He would have us "affectionate, kind, and devoted to one another. “Romans 12:10
Even so, there need to be boundaries so that hearts don't get broken-after all, “love does no harm" Romans 13:10.And so my sisters, let us pray for an unassuming spirit. We should not quickly assume that because a brother expresses kindness towards us he's interested or he wants to pursue a relationship with us. It’s his brotherly duty. And we should guard our hearts and examine our feelings and ask God to search our hearts. In fact, I’m learning that we need to give God our feelings, because feelings cannot be trusted and "the heart is wicked above all things”. A speaker once advised that as ladies, we should not place ourselves where we are likely to develop feelings for a brother.
How do we do this? Let us make God our only, true friend. Instead of pouring our hearts to guys, let us tell Jesus because he is more than eager to hear about our struggles and he enjoys it when we come to Him. That way, we have more control over our hearts.Also, pray for a godly sister in whom you can share your trials with or get an older, godly woman to pray with and seek advice from. And if you happen to be blessed with godly parents, share your struggles with them-this not only saves you from a broken heart but strengthens the relationship you have.
And yes, guys are accountable as it is not wise for them to be our confidant. But I'd rather talk to sisters. And as much as we are to love our brothers, we must guard carefully how we interact so that we don't mislead each other and end up losing focus on why we are on this earth.
And just an illustration from the human body: during reproduction/...,the sperm is the one that runs after the egg not the other way around. This simply shows it is not according to God's order for a godly woman to "pursue" a man.It's against God's order. And my dear twin brother has often told me that pursuing a guy makes him disrespect you or use you. Let’s not put ourselves in situations where we'll get hurt.
I've learnt that the ONLY time it is appropriate for us to open our hearts is when we are in a relationship. That way you won’t get hurt. Let us not open our hearts to every guy out there-your future spouse is the one worthy of that.
May God grant us with godly reserve and an unassuming spirit? May we be so focused on Christ, that we'll pursue pure relationships with our brothers with no mind games?
What I mean is, we should not conclude until something is stated, as we are putting ourselves on the devil's ground. This I've seen especially in our relationships with our brothers. A brother will show kindness towards a sister, share the Word, be there for her and she will suddenly assume he's interested in her. Or a brother may give certain looks at a sister and she will assume the same. I’ve been a victim of this and by God's grace I see its evilness and slowly overcoming, through His grace.
Most of my sisters have been hurt because of this. I remember an instance when a lady I know had been in a long friendship with a certain guy and because they shared their problems with each other they became close-this is a general thing, the more we share certain things about ourselves with certain individuals the bond becomes tight. This is evident in our spiritual life as well-there more time we spend in prayer and in God's word, witnessing we become closer to God. But back to my story, she started viewing the guy friend in a different light and would have loved a relationship with him.
But sadly, the idea was not mutual. And she was badly hurt and then she went on to say the friend used him. But on what grounds? He was never in a relationship with her to begin with. And there is a lot of this going on between brothers and sisters in the church. But this is not how God would have it.
He would have us "affectionate, kind, and devoted to one another. “Romans 12:10
Even so, there need to be boundaries so that hearts don't get broken-after all, “love does no harm" Romans 13:10.And so my sisters, let us pray for an unassuming spirit. We should not quickly assume that because a brother expresses kindness towards us he's interested or he wants to pursue a relationship with us. It’s his brotherly duty. And we should guard our hearts and examine our feelings and ask God to search our hearts. In fact, I’m learning that we need to give God our feelings, because feelings cannot be trusted and "the heart is wicked above all things”. A speaker once advised that as ladies, we should not place ourselves where we are likely to develop feelings for a brother.
How do we do this? Let us make God our only, true friend. Instead of pouring our hearts to guys, let us tell Jesus because he is more than eager to hear about our struggles and he enjoys it when we come to Him. That way, we have more control over our hearts.Also, pray for a godly sister in whom you can share your trials with or get an older, godly woman to pray with and seek advice from. And if you happen to be blessed with godly parents, share your struggles with them-this not only saves you from a broken heart but strengthens the relationship you have.
And yes, guys are accountable as it is not wise for them to be our confidant. But I'd rather talk to sisters. And as much as we are to love our brothers, we must guard carefully how we interact so that we don't mislead each other and end up losing focus on why we are on this earth.
And just an illustration from the human body: during reproduction/...,the sperm is the one that runs after the egg not the other way around. This simply shows it is not according to God's order for a godly woman to "pursue" a man.It's against God's order. And my dear twin brother has often told me that pursuing a guy makes him disrespect you or use you. Let’s not put ourselves in situations where we'll get hurt.
I've learnt that the ONLY time it is appropriate for us to open our hearts is when we are in a relationship. That way you won’t get hurt. Let us not open our hearts to every guy out there-your future spouse is the one worthy of that.
May God grant us with godly reserve and an unassuming spirit? May we be so focused on Christ, that we'll pursue pure relationships with our brothers with no mind games?
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