Growing in the Lord is so sweet and the pruning process is humbling and comforting when you know it's your desire to be like Christ,even if it doesn't feel good.After all,Christianity is NOT about feelings-never was!And I must say I'm grateful for the lessons God is making clear to me and the different people he has placed into my life to encourage me in my walk with him;and I'm so grateful for the prayers uttered on my behalf,they're working!
Slowly but surely the Holy Spirit is working on me.When I look back at how I've changed I can only praise God.The main struggle I had was accepting my God-given role-to be a woman.I questioned his clear council on motherhood.I felt it was a bit unfair for me to go to school and then not really bring my degree to use.After all,I went to get a degree to serve the community.And for quite some time I had these conflict emotions concerning God's ideal for marriage.The thought of depending made me uncomfortable-I vizualised myself like a slave and having to go to husband for every cent when I could work for myself.Plus I was proud of not being able to cook.I really hated cooking,just was too domestic for me!
But a year and a few months later,after much prayer and study,I realize I am a woman-girl,created for His holy purpose and it is not by accident.He has called me to submit while he has called the male to lead.It is his order.And I must say,I'm starting to like domestic things now-cooking particularly since I'm a neat freak of some sort,although I first needed a heart change-still being pruned.I started reading Child Guidance by Ellen White and it is then that I realized the solemn duty of a mother.Before, I saw it as demeaning,on the other side I felt inadequate and the responsibility overwhelmed me.It is greater than that of a pastor or a missionary and this opened my eyes to how great and solemn the work of the mother is and it requires repentance on the part of the mother first and practical Christianity-determining tomorrow's society.I suddenly had this desire to rear children in the Lord;but it was after much prayer.But God will reveal His will further on.For now,I need that Christ-like character,as I'm yet far.
I now know that God's ways are for our own good and for the pruning of our character into His likeness.We can only find true satisfaction when we accept and fill the role we are created to fill.Amid this indecisiveness,God never left me.He was by my side slowly leading me,even in my slackness.This is just how merciful,long-suffering and loving God is,desiring that all may repent and not perish.I was falling into a trip of seeking positions and I looked down on God's calling for me as a woman;but His Spirit kept impressing upon my heart,until I got it-still learning.
My only prayer now is:to be quick to obey,not to take long but to trust God in His leading.I've now learnt that I shouldn't voice my opinion on a particular subject that I'm not sure of,lest I lead others astray and misrepresent my Saviour.I'd rather counsel with God and wrestle with Him till he gives me understanding.I really have no words for God.Ever calling me to a higher level and I'm really humbled.
"If Christian mothers will present to society children with integrity of character, with firm principles and sound morals, they will have performed the most important of all missionary labors. Their children, thoroughly educated to take their places in society, are the greatest evidence of Christianity that can be given to the world."9Pacific Health Journal, June, 1890./Child Guidance,p163
Slowly but surely the Holy Spirit is working on me.When I look back at how I've changed I can only praise God.The main struggle I had was accepting my God-given role-to be a woman.I questioned his clear council on motherhood.I felt it was a bit unfair for me to go to school and then not really bring my degree to use.After all,I went to get a degree to serve the community.And for quite some time I had these conflict emotions concerning God's ideal for marriage.The thought of depending made me uncomfortable-I vizualised myself like a slave and having to go to husband for every cent when I could work for myself.Plus I was proud of not being able to cook.I really hated cooking,just was too domestic for me!
But a year and a few months later,after much prayer and study,I realize I am a woman-girl,created for His holy purpose and it is not by accident.He has called me to submit while he has called the male to lead.It is his order.And I must say,I'm starting to like domestic things now-cooking particularly since I'm a neat freak of some sort,although I first needed a heart change-still being pruned.I started reading Child Guidance by Ellen White and it is then that I realized the solemn duty of a mother.Before, I saw it as demeaning,on the other side I felt inadequate and the responsibility overwhelmed me.It is greater than that of a pastor or a missionary and this opened my eyes to how great and solemn the work of the mother is and it requires repentance on the part of the mother first and practical Christianity-determining tomorrow's society.I suddenly had this desire to rear children in the Lord;but it was after much prayer.But God will reveal His will further on.For now,I need that Christ-like character,as I'm yet far.
I now know that God's ways are for our own good and for the pruning of our character into His likeness.We can only find true satisfaction when we accept and fill the role we are created to fill.Amid this indecisiveness,God never left me.He was by my side slowly leading me,even in my slackness.This is just how merciful,long-suffering and loving God is,desiring that all may repent and not perish.I was falling into a trip of seeking positions and I looked down on God's calling for me as a woman;but His Spirit kept impressing upon my heart,until I got it-still learning.
My only prayer now is:to be quick to obey,not to take long but to trust God in His leading.I've now learnt that I shouldn't voice my opinion on a particular subject that I'm not sure of,lest I lead others astray and misrepresent my Saviour.I'd rather counsel with God and wrestle with Him till he gives me understanding.I really have no words for God.Ever calling me to a higher level and I'm really humbled.
"If Christian mothers will present to society children with integrity of character, with firm principles and sound morals, they will have performed the most important of all missionary labors. Their children, thoroughly educated to take their places in society, are the greatest evidence of Christianity that can be given to the world."9Pacific Health Journal, June, 1890./Child Guidance,p163
No comments:
Post a Comment